I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
