Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
