I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
