im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
