Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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