3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Already got asked if we're dating
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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