Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She just used a chaser for red wine.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
