there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
