Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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