Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
