i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
