He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
