he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
