so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
