but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
