Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My bed smells like the plague
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