windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
