You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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