i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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