i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize