How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
