So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
