What did we do last night that was yellow?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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