Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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