Kiss
Puke
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
