Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
