Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize