Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
