apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize