lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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