I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
