..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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