In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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