He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
