im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
