My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
