Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
