That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
