dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
