We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
