I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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