4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
