Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
