remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
