Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
