I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
