Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
