remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
