Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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