I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
as a side note pls kill me
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
