this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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