I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
