someone get that fucking seahorse.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
