Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
