She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
