Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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