I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
