i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
