just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
tell me about the fingering
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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